You thought the terrible twos were hard...
Welcome to the teenage years.
You thought that if you did all the right things in the early years, then the teenage years wouldn't be so hard.
Oh how you were wrong.
You've read the books on raising boys and girls.
You watched the webinars about monitoring devises.
And still, they are looking at their phone or computer all the time.
You even tried to be the parent with "clear rules" and "boundaries". You were greeted with yelling and withdrawal.
*A bedroom door slams in the distance*
The worst part of all of this, is that you're starting to sound like your parents, throwing comments out like "if all of your friends wanted to jump off a bridge then should I let you too?"
When they were younger they would go to their bedroom and come back out.
Now you get one syllable and a shrug as they return to their room to hibernate further.
Your anxiety rising with each hour they spend behind the closed door messing up their sleep cycle, scrolling on their device and not engaging with the family.Â
It feels like you're going through a breakup with your teen.
You want to be the best parent you can and want the best for your teen. You know that a connected relationship with your teen is important and something you really want but just don’t know how to make all of the things you have read in the books work in the real world.Â
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In the real world you’re trying your absolute best to keep the calm but you’re tired, stressed, and feel like you’re failing.Â
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How do you have the warm, connected, listening conversations with your teen when they won’t come out of their bedroom?
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What do you do when they roll their eyes and ignore you when you’re telling them they need 9 hours sleep, wind down time, exercise, organisation skills and planning?
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What do you do when they just won’t listen? You have so much wisdom to share with them. You have learned so much about emotional wellbeing but they roll their eyes whenever you start giving them advice.
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How do you maintain your calm when they are escalating and telling you that you don’t understand? Seriously, how much yelling, screaming and ignoring can anyone take before they flip their lid?!Â
Here's the secret to parenting teens successfully. It starts with YOU.
You're working so hard to keep everyone calm but inside you're the one who's constantly anxious, walking on eggshells, and wondering what kind of war you're inadvertently going to start at dinner tonight.Â
There is a real emotional toll on you. It's effecting you and your connection with your teen.
It's not your fault, but changing how you feel and developing your insight, awareness and self-care will help your teen's mood and connection with you.
That's because the emotional processes behind every conversation are what makes it a successful or an unsuccessful parenting moment.
And this is the part that is missing in most parenting books and programs.
The mistake most parents make is thinking that if they work on getting their teen to be more emotionally stable and polite then everyone will be happy.
But the paradox is that the more you try to fix the problem, the more emotional they get.
Focus on both you and your teen's emotional wellbeing, and watch as you build a connection that lasts.
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Is not just a parenting program. It is a self development program that seeks to improve your connection with your teen by developing your emotional awareness and insight alongside supporting them to also change.
It provides a clear plan for parents to bring calm and connection back into their relationship with their teen.
The Calm Connection Program blends the scientific with the practical.
It draws on solid scientific research about how to bring you more calm (without 5am meditations week long yoga retreats).
You'll learn the latest science behind understanding emotions, and how to communicate and motivate teenagers .
Basically, we use science to help alleviate parenting stress and build more calm and connection with your teen so they will listen to you and make changes.
We go into why you find yourself saying things you never thought you would say and why your teens are always telling you to “stop stressing”.
The program teaches you the foundations of understanding emotions and their causes and practical strategies to use to transform emotions like anxiety, anger and helplessness in yourself and your teen.
If you want to find more calm for yourself (because let's face it parenting teens is stressful)...
If you want to connect better with your teenager so you can…
Help your teenager to cope with big feelings and make good decisions…
It all starts with nurturing you, building your emotional capacity and understanding of emotions so that your teen will open up and you can share your wisdom with them.
The Calm Connection Program is for parents who want to know how to help their teen ...

hey there!
I'm Dr Kirstin Barchia
PhD, MaClinPsych, BPsych(Hons). Clinical Psychologist (AHPRA PSY000134185)
As a clinical psychologist working with teenagers and their families for the past 20 years, I have witnessed many great parents unknowingly make mistakes that have made their difficulties with their teen worse... all because no one gave them the support and guidance they needed.
When I went looking for resources for parents I found tip sheets that were vague...tell parents to "connect" with their kids. And advice that was not practical or possible for a lot of families. Most parents are working at least part time, have multiple children and aging parents to care for. The advice given in tip sheets may work if a parent had nothing else going on, but very hard to do at 9:30pm at night after working all day and not having a moment to themselves.
That's why I developed the Calm Connection Program with practical strategies to help parents of teenagers.
I am here to help you.
I am also a researcher and have conducted research with teenagers on bullying and aggression, lying, delinquent behaviour, and resilience. As a researcher it is important to me that parents are supported with strategies that are based on science and psychological research.
I care deeply about supporting teenagers and their parents.
Do you need support in parenting your teen?
You don't have to do it alone.

Calm Connection Program
- Learn practical strategies to calm yourself without having to go to a yoga retreat or meditate at 5am.
- Learn new ways to interact and communicate with your teen.
- Learn way to improve the parenting partnership so you can parent together instead of fighting each other.
- Learn how to improve sibling relationships.
- Program includes videos and workbook with parent, child and parenting partnership focused activities for each module.
- Program also includes 10 parent group zoom calls held during NSW school terms.
- Registration is for 6 months.

I like how it is practical, and you explain it in a way that means I know you know what it is really like to try to parent a teenager. I really related to what you said, I felt like you were describing my exact situation and thoughts.”
Leanne
Here’s how the program breaks down...
Calming you.
In this module, you’ll learn
- The body's response to stress and how to unwind that response.
- Practical strategies you can use right away that don't take any extra time.
- Have clarity about the areas you can make changes that will help you feel less stressed.
Why we sometimes sound like our own parents when we never planned to.
In this module, you’ll learn
- Why we sometimes sound like our parents when we don’t want to.
- How our past effects our present.
- How our past impacts our parenting.
- How our past effects your relationship with your teen.
- How to recognise and respond to our past in a helpful way
Learning to understand and respond to anxious, sad and angry feelings.
In this module, you’ll learn
- How to understand the actual causes of anxious, sad and angry feelings.
- Why sometimes feelings look like they come from nowhere and leave us asking is this hormonal?
- Why teens and adults with really great lives don’t always feel happy
- How to work out what your teen is thinking and feeling.
Coaching your teenager to solve their own problems.
In this module, you’ll learn
- How to have conversations with your teen that opens them up and gets them to take responsibility for their own problems.
- Practical strategies for having positive conversations.
Sibling conflict – how to protect and build connections between siblings.
In this module, you’ll learn
- How to respond to sibling conflict in a way that teaches your children good conflict resolution skills.
- How to apply the Calm Connection Steps to the difficulty of sibling conflict.
- How to build connection routines into your household.
"The Calm Connection program has been a wonderful source of great learning and great comfort for me this year as I support my 15 year old daughter through middle adolescence. My daughter has suffered with debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. I had sought support for her and she had managed to overcome most of her fears but COVID brought about new anxieties and worries and the lockdowns meant that she was home and isolated from friends and on screens and devices for much of the time. I sought support for myself through the Calm Connection program and it has been such a warm, supportive and safe place. Kirstin’s compassion, gentle guidance and wealth of knowledge have helped to reassure me and help to re-build my confidence and connection with my daughter again. Kirstin I cannot thank you enough. You are truly the teen (and teen mum) whisperer!!"
"When I commenced the program, my teenage son was out of control and our usual beautiful close relationship had disintegrated. As a single mum who was trying to reach out to all sorts of services for help and support, I continued to come up with dead ends. The calm connection program changed all of that. The support and knowledge from the program, Kirstin and the other parents in the group has been amazing. Being with other parents of struggling teenagers means that I have felt less alone. I found Kirstin is an amazingly empathetic, supportive and knowledgeable psychologist."
Pick your payment option
I am here to help you. If you are unhappy with the program you can request a full refund within 7 days.
The Calm Connection Program is more than just a parenting program.
It is three types of programs in one (delivered by a Clinical Psychologist)



How do I know if the program is for me?
The program teaches the calm connection steps that can be applied to all types of situations. It provides a framework with practical skills you can apply to any situation throughout the teen years. It has been used with different types of families and teens of different ages. Here's some examples of those who have completed the program and found the program helpful.
The program is for parents and carers that are ready to learn about and understand themselves and their teen better.
It is for you if you are ready to make changes to help yourself and your teen teen.
The Calm Connection program is not for you if you are not open to self reflection, getting to understand your teen better, or make any changes to your parenting.
"It has been quite amazing and one of the benefits I didn’t see coming was actually hearing other peoples’ stories helped me to realize that actually what I am going through is actually really normal, and it is happening in different ways and forms in most people’s households. So I have learned from the other parents and how they have handled things and I have also felt that everyone is going through the same or different things and it is actually okay."
"One of the beauties of the program is that it doesn’t matter what your difficulties are, or how difficult they are, and whether you have a child who might have additional disorders, it’s still the same approach."
Frequently Asked Questions
WHEN ARE THE GROUP ZOOM CALLS?
WHAT IF ONLY ONE PARENT DOES THE PROGRAM AND THE OTHER DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE?
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF THE GROUP CALLS?
IS THIS PROGRAM SUITABLE FOR SINGLE PARENTS?
CAN MY CHILD'S OTHER PARENT ACCESS THE COURSE AND THE CALLS?
WILL THE PROGRAM HELP WITH MY SPECIFIC DIFFICULTIES WITH MY TEEN?
WILL THE PROGRAM HELP WITH MY TEEN WITH ASD?
WHO WILL BE HOSTING THE GROUP ZOOM CALLS?
HOW IS PRIVACY AND CONFIDENTIALITY MANAGED IN THE GROUP CALLS?
IS THIS PROGRAM VALUE FOR MONEY?
WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF AN ONLINE PROGRAM VS ONE TO ONE SUPPORT?
WHAT IF I START THE PROGRAM AND DECIDE IT'S NOT FOR ME?
WHAT IF I CAN'T MAKE THE LIVE ZOOM CALLS?
I HAVE A TWEEN OR I HAVE AN OLDER TEEN IS THE PROGRAM SUITABLE?

How it works:
- Access the self paced learning modules and workbook in your own time (in the car, on a walk, at home).
- Submit your questions and attend the group Q and A zoom calls fortnightly.
The Calm Connection Program is designed to...


