Worried about your teen: Should you check on them and how?

You come home from work. 

Tired. 

The house is quiet, but it worries you. 

You're torn. You want to relax. 
But you worry about what your teen is doing behind their closed door. 

How are they?  

Are they sad?  

Are they okay?  

Are they doing things they shouldn't? 

You want to know… 

…but you don’t want to search their room for vapes or browser histories. 

Tired and exhausted, you call out to your teen. 

Silence. 

You go to them, knock on the door, and are greeted with a, “What?!” 

You don’t have the energy for this. 

You retort, “Don’t talk to me like that!” 

They say, “Whatever!” 

You tell them off. 

They kick off. 

Exhausted after the explosion, you wonder, how did it get to this? 

You just wanted to see how they were. 

You wanted to be nice. To be there for them, not have a fight. 

I want you to know you’ve not alone. 

This scenario is happening in many houses. 

I see your worry. 

Your desire to know, to connect, to protect, to support your teen. 

I see how hard you’re working. 

You work hard during the day, and you don’t sit in front of the TV like you want to after work. 

Instead, you end up in an argument you never intended… all because you dared to knock on their door. 

But there is a different way. 

Where you feel less exhausted. 

Where you knock on their door, and they sigh into your embrace and tell you what’s on their mind. 

I’ve seen it in my family. And in the families I work with. 

It starts with soothing your own stress, anxiety, and fear. 

Not from searching their room, or finding the perfect words to open them up. 

It starts with having a clear plan. 

The most common question I get from parents who are worried about their teen is “What do I do?” 

The confusion about how to respond or protect your teen can feel like trying to get through a forest with no map. 

Without a map, you feel lost, alone, and confused. 

But with a map you may still be in the forest, climbing boulders and feeling cold, you know what to do next. 

And that makes all the difference. 

Want to know the “map” I use and teach? Click here to watch the Calm Connection Workshop.