Doing everything "right"... and your teen is still struggling?

I have a confession.

I love math.

I love the feeling of solving a problem.

Math was one of my favourite subjects in school.

Unlike English, art, or dance, math had certainty to it.

If you followed the right steps and learned the rules you got the result.

There's one math lesson I will never forget.

In senior math we learned about imaginary numbers.

These are numbers the math geniuses made up because they realised some of the regular math rules you and I were taught in school didn’t work for some math problems.

In one math lesson the certainty of math was undone.

It blew my mind that mathematicians just said let’s make “imaginary numbers”.

Following the steps and the old number rules didn’t actually work in the real world.

Many of the parents I work with have the same realisation with parenting teens.

They’ve done all the “right” things in the early years and their teen is still struggling.

And they feel like the parenting formula has failed them.

Or that they didn’t follow the “formula” properly.

…and there’s no shortage of people in society that will readily jump on the bandwagon of blaming the parents for the teen’s behaviour or anxiety.

The problem with the parenting formulas is that you’re missing the messy “imaginary” unseen part.

You can have all the understanding and the perfect script to help your teen…

but it’s the emotional processes behind every conversation that make it a successful or an unsuccessful parenting moment.

And this is the part that is missing in most parenting books and programs.

It’s like the imaginary numbers that were missing in Year 1-11.

The teen years are full of emotion.

Their emotions are heightened.

And so are yours.

Anyone who's yelled when they planned to stay calm knows how hard it is to navigate the emotional world of parenting teens.

When you feel like nothing you’re doing is working with your teen.

You don’t need a formula.

You don’t need blame.

You need support.

Not because you are wrong or your teen is wrong.

Because the change you want starts with nurturing you.

Not just basic self care.

But real support and understanding.

I provide this kind of coaching and support to parents inside my Calm Connection Program. Click here to book a call to see if the program is a good fit for you.