The truth behind your teen's rudeness
"Aw mum!"
"Cringe."
"You don't get it."
Hmph.
Shrug.
Head in hands.
The "language" of teens can feel rude.
It can make you wonder whether you need to shift to stricter parenting.
But the real key to shifting this behaviour is learning to talk teenager.
I don't mean learning to speak the latest skippidy, six, seven.
I mean truely understanding the meaning behind what they say.
As teens grow into adult bodies, their brains grow too.
But not always in a mature direction.
Teen brains begin to rewire around 12-13.
Neural connections that are old are dumped to make the ones used more often work more efficiently.
But during this brain renovation period the connections between the logical (mature) parts of the brain and the emotional parts of the brain get less strong.
Add changing teenage hormones and you have the reason for the moodiness...
And also the rude tone of voice.
Their emotions are bigger during this change and the stress of their day, week or last 5 mins often comes out in their interaction with you.
While you would love your teen to share their struggles in an emotionally mature way...
Often they do it through an eye roll, a grunt, a criticism, a refusal.
These behaviours are rarely rudeness but a teen telling a parent they are struggling with something.
When you tune into what's underneath you can help them with the real problem.
And when you help them with the real problem the rudeness disappears.
Misunderstanding teen rudeness is one common blindspot of parents of teens.
Want to learn about the other blindspots that might be getting in the way of having the type of relationship with your teen that helps them change and take responsibility for themselves?
